"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I CONQUER MY FEAR!!!
You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I CONQUER MY FEAR!!!
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When I was young... I mean younger, I wasn't afraid of gettin' hurt, experiment on things and try new experiences... Well practically because I care less about myself being the "happy go lucky" type of person...I said it, that was before... As I grew older and responsibility has been put over my shoulder (naks!) I started to feel the fear... It was not my life anymore... There are people who depends on me... The fear started to build up and I started to stay away from my past life (chos!)
But I can't totally stay away from the challenge... The Emergency Awareness Training in our office requires every participant to do the rappelling and the zip line with the improvised harness. It scared the hell out of me... My size???doin' the rappeling? with all that ropes? NOOOOO!!!
It's a two-day training, at first I was firm saying I wouldn't do it. But everyone did it and so I was leave with no choice... I HAVE TO DO IT.
When I stepped on the ledge to get ready, everything in me is shaking... Did I need to say that I have this fear of heights? Even looking down from a two-storey house makes me dizzy what more with doing the rappeling from 12th floor to 10th floor of our building?! Arggghhh!!! Everyone is looking at me, my friends are there to support me, the trainors giving me last minute instructions but everything is blurred... All I hear is my heart beating so loud it hurts my ears (I dunno, but this is what I felt). When I loose my grip on the rope and I became unsteady, I thought it was the end of me... I was screaming... Yelling at them to hold the rope tight...I was about to cry. I was so glad, they were so patient with me... And then slowly I did it... I slowly moved down, even calling the photographer to took a picture and then I smiled... I DID IT!!!
I've done the first part... I thought it was that already... When they asked me to do the zip line after everyone has been finished, I tried to begged off... But I saw all their eyes at me... and after some demands on my part (like double rope) I give in... This is harder than the first one. In rapelling, I was facing up and walking at the wall, here in zipline I was looking down and I was really really dizzy. I was shouting 'til my lung's out...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!! It was just a brief travel but it feels like days before I feel my feet touched the ground. I can't even stand straight 'coz my knees were shaking hard... After all the agony (char!) I've been through... I could say... I CONQUER MY FEAR!!! I did it!!!
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"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."
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